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I don't know what to say.

10 comments · save · last comment by Salt E. over 3 years ago

Randi  Butler

Randi B.

NEW YORK, NY,
United States

2402 posts

This morning my friend watched her dad murder her mother and then kill himself.

I don't know what to do. I know this is stupid, but how do you console somebody like this? Now her and her sister and brother are orphans.

over 3 years ago

#1
Melissa T

Melissa T.

SOUTH BAY,
United States

59 posts

I don't think there really is much you can say other than letting her know that if she needs someone to listen you are there for her. I think what she could really use is a friend even though she might not want to talk much about it since she is probably in shock right now just let her know that when she needs you you will be there.

July 29, 2010

#2
Randi  Butler

Randi B.

NEW YORK, NY,
United States

2402 posts

@Melissa T.

Thank you. I'm debating if i should back off for a while, which i think i will.

July 29, 2010

#4
Chelsea Whipps

Chelsea W.

ST. CATHARINES,
Canada

488 posts

this happened to a family in my town two summers ago. The kids didn't go to my school, but it is still rattling because you just never think it will happen.

July 29, 2010

#5
Alexe G

Alexe G.

MONTREAL,
Canada

1917 posts

Give her support obviously, but don't come barging in trying to be consoling without being invited. I don't really know what you can say for something so horrible though, there isn't anything that will make this better for her right now.

July 29, 2010

#6
Celina Valdez

Celina V.

CARSON,
United States

660 posts

Wow thats harsh, i wouldnt know what to say :/

July 29, 2010

#7
Theresa P

Theresa P.

NEW YORK,
United States

50 posts

wow, that's really horrible. just give her space, but let her
know that when she needs you, you're there. that's really
all i can think of. sometimes it's best just to physically
be there, even not saying anything. cry and hug, and
just everything out. i'm really sorry for her and her family.
<3

July 29, 2010

#8
Robyn Gough

Robyn G.

BIRMINGHAM,
United Kingdom

333 posts

Oh shit!!!! After seeing something as brutal and mentally damaging as that I can imagine she will need proffessional help and someone close a friendly face she knows! So be there for her as you normally would and more, don't let her be on her own, that's vile and I hope she's okay!!

July 29, 2010

#9
Aurora .

Aurora ..

ONTARIO,
Canada

3744 posts

@Randi B.

don't back off, thats probably one of the worst things you could do to someone in a situation like that. it could seem like a good idea to give her space because you're not sure how to handle it or to just to give her time to process things but she probably won't see it like that. I know it's hard and it's impossible to know what to say or how to handle it but just be there for her no matter what in any way that you can. there is no certain right thing you should say, all you can do is try and be there to listen if she wants to talk. even being there without saying much will be good. she'll be in shock for a while so she won't be able to process much and just having people around will help her. I'm not saying to completely attach yourself to her, but don't wait for her to come to you first. there is no easy fix to make her feel better right now, it will take time. I can't stress enough that giving her space is not the best thing for her. the only other thing I can think of right now that you shouldn't do is to tell her anything like you know how she feels because you don't, even if the same thing happened to you you wouldn't know because you aren't her and things affect people differently. she will need professional help and all the support she can get. I hope she's alright or at least as much as she could be right now. and I hope you're okay too, I understand how difficult it can be to support people going through hard things.

July 29, 2010

#10
Salt E.

Salt E.

HERE,
United States

165 posts

Hmmm, there's not a lot you can say.. perhaps just "I'm there for you if you need me" or just be there for her, like a giant hug or something!

July 29, 2010

  

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