Based on a psychological study, a crush only lasts for a maximum of 4 months. If it exceeds, you are already in love.
69 replies / 33398 views / last reply by Grace B. 2 months ago
|
"Based on a psychological study, a crush only lasts for a maximum of 4 months. If it exceeds, you are already in love."
|
Shortcuts:
j - down
k - up
t - top
b - bottom
tab - reply
You must be logged in to post a reply.
Jen O. C.
VANCOUVER,
Canada
3620 posts
OG since: 02/18/2009
yeah, there's so much b.s. on tumblr that I'd really like to see a source before I get into this at any depth.
I think people often mistake infatuation with love. It's very easy to get hung up on someone who doesn't feel the same about you, and the inability to actualize your feelings often seems to intensify them - creating that feeling of need and overwhelming emotion towards that person, which people have trouble differentiating from love.
I personally don't think you can be in love if it isn't shared; you can FEEL love for someone who doesn't love you back, but you can't be IN LOVE with them. Does that make sense?
posted Oct 13, 2010
Genevieve P.
SEATTLE,
United States
148 posts
OG since: 01/14/2010
I haven't thought of it that way before, but yeah it does make sense. Kind of like...err I guess you could say, you can love someone deeply but you can't be in love unless it's mutual?
posted Oct 13, 2010
Jazz N.
NEW YORK,
United States
2668 posts
OG since: 05/30/2009
I've never been in love. :(
posted Oct 13, 2010
Tilly N.
United Kingdom
1545 posts
Member since: 08/27/2010
bullshite. i fancied the same guy for 2 and a half years defo wasn't in love.
posted Oct 13, 2010
Daniel M.
LONDON,
United Kingdom
2513 posts
OG since: 08/21/2009
no.
posted Oct 13, 2010
Randi N.
STUPID NEW YORK,
United States
2399 posts
OG since: 04/24/2010
bull shit
posted Oct 13, 2010
Olivia H.
ENGLAND,
United Kingdom
195 posts
OG since: 05/27/2009
It's 'studies' like this that anger me... complete shite.
posted Oct 13, 2010
Asmita V.
HOGWARTS,
Canada
525 posts
OG since: 05/10/2010
Yeah, if it's on Tumblr, it's probably not true. I have had crushes for more than 4 months, and ice definitely never been in love.
posted Oct 13, 2010
Catherine E.
PHILADELPHIA,
United States
1174 posts
OG since: 03/04/2009
No.
posted Oct 15, 2010
Francis Y.
NEWCASTLE,
United Kingdom
2117 posts
OG since: 08/04/2009
I call bullshit
posted Oct 15, 2010
Mara C.
LAS LOUIS AND ST. VEGAS,
United States
4830 posts
OG since: 12/27/2009
Based on a psychological study, Tumblr likes to suck my dick.
posted Oct 15, 2010
Gabe C.
MONTREAL,
Canada
344 posts
OG since: 07/05/2010
If it's from a decent source, this.
posted Oct 15, 2010
baby .
WINNIPEG,
Canada
44 posts
OG since: 12/08/2008
yikes
posted Oct 18, 2010
Samantha M.
VANCOUVER,
Canada
275 posts
Member since: 09/08/2010
total bs!
posted Oct 18, 2010
Ren R.
LOS ANGELES,
Singapore
13 posts
Member since: 09/10/2010
Haha I'd like to read up on the 'study' too; I've had a crush that lasted more than a year, but I knew it wasn't love. The guy was just real easy on the eyes is all.
posted Oct 18, 2010
Julie L.
WONDERLAND.,
United States
2 posts
OG since: 08/10/2010
agreed. ish.
posted Oct 18, 2010
Julie L.
WONDERLAND.,
United States
2 posts
OG since: 08/10/2010
if u think ur guy is just "easy on the eyes" then thats not a crush. thats just u thinking a guy is hot or attractive and what not and u have lust not a crush. hhuugggee difference ppl.
posted Oct 18, 2010
Eika ..
LALA LAND,
Malaysia
140 posts
OG since: 07/15/2009
wrong
posted Oct 18, 2010
Anna V.
MANCHESTER,
United Kingdom
1152 posts
OG since: 11/29/2009
naaah it's wrong.. I've had crushes for longer than 4 months but I'm pretty sure I've never been in love.
posted Oct 18, 2010
Ruth T.
$,
United States
185 posts
Member since: 10/06/2010
agreed !
I so doubt it . Crushing that lasted 4+ months for me, has never reached the point of love .
Crushing dies off, I don't think love is capable of doing so.
posted Nov 3, 2010
Ruth T.
$,
United States
185 posts
Member since: 10/06/2010
LMAO !
posted Nov 3, 2010
Paige C.
THE FREE WORLD,
United States
7 posts
OG since: 02/21/2010
I hope thats bullshit, because otherwise I've been "in love" a few times...
posted Dec 29, 2010
Illiana M.
WELLINGTON,
New Zealand
894 posts
OG since: 08/12/2009
Not love.
Look up "limerence". It's basically romantic obsession. Not love, but almost as intense.
posted Dec 29, 2010
Chris F.
FORT WORTH, TEXAS,
United States
6792 posts
OG since: 06/21/2009
I think it's awesome that your reply was first, Jen. Dropped some knowledge!
posted Dec 29, 2010
Natalie W.
United States
55 posts
Member since: 08/28/2010
If this is true, then I've been in love.... Since elementary school. Yeahright.
posted Dec 29, 2010
Anna J.
A LITTLE BIT NEAR LONDON,
United Kingdom
1520 posts
OG since: 10/06/2009
I actually read a book by Professor Robert Winstone (wow, get me) about the brain and read a whole chapter on what happens when we find ourselves in so-called "love".
Apparently, from the minute we see somebody as an ideal mate, our brain produces loadssss of endorphins, so we learn to associate that person with the happiness that arises as a result of those endorphins. The effect gradually wears off over time (could be a couple of months, could be a couple of years), thus concluding the "lust" period of a relationship. It depends on personality compatibility and various other factors as to whether we choose to stay with that person afterwards.
So that was a psychology study. Perhaps that Tumblr thing is a teenage interpretation of Winstone's theory, I don't know.
posted Dec 29, 2010
Sophie R.
LONDON,
United Kingdom
4384 posts
OG since: 01/21/2010
I don't think that's true...
posted Dec 29, 2010
Sara B.
WASHINGTON, DC,
United States
824 posts
OG since: 11/23/2009
I think it's true about the crush part but, the over four months thing isn't...
posted Dec 29, 2010
Gracie B.
United Kingdom
391 posts
Member since: 12/03/2010
That's a load of crap! I had a crush on a guy for 2-3 years- it definitely wasn't anything more than a crush.
posted Jan 2, 2011
Kimberley C.
AUCKLAND,
New Zealand
42 posts
Member since: 09/04/2010
Bull, I fancied a guy for almost 4 years. Never loved him.
posted Jan 6, 2011
April S.
CALIFORNIA,
United States
29 posts
Member since: 11/17/2010
like anyone knows what it truly means to be in love..
and if you think you have, kudos to you.
(:
posted Jan 6, 2011
Samantha T.
SINGAPORE,
Singapore
534 posts
Member since: 08/28/2010
hahah i've had a crush on this guy for 2 years! that's bullshit
posted Jan 6, 2011
Sarah S.
THE LOOKING GLASS,
Canada
1959 posts
OG since: 08/03/2009
You know, there's a difference between love and infatuation. This article's total bull.
posted Jan 7, 2011
Míceal C.
IRELAND ,
Ireland
185 posts
OG since: 05/08/2010
i'll tell you in 2/3 months
posted Jan 7, 2011
Kyle A.
United Kingdom
1 posts
Member since: 08/29/2010
Too vague to answer, I think it's utter bull...
People have different meanings of being "in love". If it is talking about "unrequited love" or "one sided love" then I think it is possible. I think people especially us teenagers - confuse ourselves with infatuation and being in love. I'm not saying "Teenagers don't fall in love! or as adults always say - "What do teenagers know about being or feeling in love?" Probably just the dodgy hormones but some people also have terms like "Love at first sight" which I think is another good example of utter bull shite or "We were meant to be" or "Soul Mates".
I mean who comes up with all that crap?
I strongly liked this person for almost 2 and a half years and yes, the feeling was way better than any of the cheesy romantic books/movies described of being in love. But how did I know? I was only 12! It wasn't real at all. It wore off and I found other several guys to like.
posted Jan 10, 2011
Karissa M.
VANCOUVER,
Canada
117 posts
OG since: 06/01/2009
it's probably bs. as much as I love tumblr, it has its fair share of lovesick/hopeless/already in love romantics that post any statments that flow. How can you put a specific amount of time on whether or not someone is still in the crush zone, or in love? You can't.
posted Jan 12, 2011
Ivana E.
UNDER YOUR BED,
United States
54 posts
OG since: 06/21/2010
People put too much thought into things..things like this, as well as that golden ratio thing that tells why people think you're beautiful, its all too much. They rely on science for too much. I liked someone well past 4 months, and i wasnt in love with them yet. You cant put that into time, just like you can't use a ratio to call someone beautiful. People rely too much on science, some stuff is just human nature, not science nature.(I know thats not right, im just making a point)
posted Jan 12, 2011
Mysti R.
UTOPIA,
United States
68 posts
Member since: 02/13/2011
i'd say if you're still crushing after 4 months without acting on your feelings, it may be somewhat of an obsession and not 'in love.'
i've had loving feelings for an old friend of mine for several years, but am in no way obsessed or in love whatsoever.
posted Feb 23, 2011
Michelle L.
SHINEE WORLD ,
United States
32 posts
Member since: 01/23/2011
Oh goodness. I've had a crush on this one boy all through middle school and now in 9th grade so what is that? 4 YEARS? Yikes. I don't even know what to call it anymore, my heart still flutters when I'm near him but I haven't had any classes with him since 7th grade so I havent been able to really talk to him since. I know I'm not IN love, but I still have deep feelings for him that I wish would be requited. Is it an obsession? I dont know anymore. But I do know putting a time frame like 4 months is bull.
posted Feb 24, 2011
Kenneth ☾ A.
BOSTON,
United States
1867 posts
OG since: 07/19/2009
This is shit. I've had crushes on people for years and I'm not in love with them. I don't even know anything about them.
posted Feb 24, 2011
Carol C.
MISSISSIPPI,
United States
29 posts
Member since: 11/07/2010
That's bull. I've had a crush on this guy in my class for a little over a year in sixth grade and now I don't even think of him.
posted Apr 11, 2011
Asal R.
LONDON,
United Kingdom
71 posts
OG since: 04/13/2010
Well, somebody's ass must have fucking hurt when they pulled THAT out of it!
posted Apr 11, 2011
Shaz O.
United Kingdom
1254 posts
Member since: 12/08/2010
you can fall in love in 2 weeks and you can crush on someone for 2 years, it depends on the person.
posted Apr 11, 2011
Julie W.
MELBOURNE,
Australia
35 posts
Member since: 03/03/2011
People these days don't even know what love is.
posted Apr 11, 2011
Sandy R.
MANCHESTER,
United Kingdom
1078 posts
OG since: 01/19/2009
I don't thing you can make such a broad statement about such a subjective idea.
posted Apr 11, 2011
Alex G.
COPENHAGEN/WARSAW,
Denmark
890 posts
OG since: 12/31/2008
Then when did people know what love is?
posted Apr 11, 2011
Emily K.
GET ME OUT OF HERE,
United States
1 posts
Member since: 11/07/2010
OKay well all you guys are talking about if the feelings are not mutal.
For me i was crushing on this guy for about three months until i finally told him that i liked him. Which he told me he started liking at the same time that i started.
We've been talking for 7 months now not including the other three months, we've gotten to become realy close,and the feelings have grew.
SO does that mean i'm techicnally "in love" ?
I mean i feel like i could love this boy but i just dont know what love feels like so i'm not totally sure because i have never felt this way before.
I'm just very confused right now.
posted Jun 2, 2011
Elise :.
SYDNEY,
Australia
933 posts
Member since: 03/20/2011
that was the perfect answer
posted Jun 4, 2011
Leo C.
TEXAS/MASSACHUSETTS,
United States
499 posts
OG since: 12/16/2009
This is a bullshit study. A lot of the "Psychological studies" on Tumblr are bullshit studies, or a study from which someone got the wrong perception.
posted Jun 9, 2011
Mathias K.
NORWAY,
Norway
299 posts
OG since: 04/19/2010
I´ve had a crush on the same girl for about... fuck, I can´t even remember anymore...
posted Jun 10, 2011
Billie J.
LOS ANGELES,
United States
4590 posts
OG since: 03/16/2009
Wellll..... I never studied/saw this in my psych book this entire year. So.
posted Jun 10, 2011
May S.
MOLDE,
Norway
8 posts
Member since: 03/30/2011
i think its meant when you are in a relationship...
posted Jun 15, 2011
Jason A.
ONTARIO,
Canada
1 posts
Member since: 02/20/2012
has anyone found the article it came from?
posted Mar 1, 2012
Monica D.
Bulgaria
242 posts
Member since: 01/25/2012
It depends. But I think 4 months are enough for you to realize if the person you're dating is good enough for you or not. And if he/she is, then you probably fall in love with him/her. It took me approximately 3-4 months to really feel that I'm in love with by BF and that state of mind when I can say it without doubt.
posted Mar 1, 2012
Katie L.
INDIANAPOLIS,
United States
346 posts
OG since: 08/30/2009
I have a huge celeb crush on Ben Cumberbatch that has been going on since 2007.
I don't think I'm in love with him, haha.
posted Mar 1, 2012
Shaz O.
United Kingdom
1254 posts
Member since: 12/08/2010
i dont think this is true
when i was 13, i stalked a guy for more than 2 years, i didnt know him, his personality or anything. I just fell in "love" with him. Which is not possible since i didnt know what type of a person he is. So yes, it was a crush, and it obvously lasted for more than 3 months
posted Mar 1, 2012
Karmen D.
Croatia
886 posts
Member since: 01/26/2011
To be honest, I can't actually tell the difference between the two, seems same to me.
But I still don't believe you can say how long a certain emotion lasts, it's an individual thing.
posted Mar 2, 2012
Reiel L.
JAPAN BUT LIVING IN MANILA,
Philippines
290 posts
Member since: 12/13/2011
studies sucks,
everything has studies!
does people really need to live with all this explanations?
posted Mar 3, 2012
Grace B.
COLLEGEVILLE, PENNSYLVANIA,
United States
23 posts
Member since: 11/10/2011
Daaaaaaaang. Aside from my current boyfriend (who I am very much in love with and will be for a long time), none of my relationships lasted for more than a month.
I fell out of love after about 3 weeks. Forget 4 months.
posted Mar 5, 2012